Some days it happens that I feel as belonging to a different country, as if I was born in a different landscape. With this weird feeling, I also found myself lately dizzy and not being able to clearly understand people. When I was a kid I remember to be convinced to be born in Mars, loving that red sand cover reflected by the planet, in part because at the time the media talked often about Martians and their possible invasion, the other part because I really felt people around me quite strange, often entertained in intrigue or showing off the good things they have and how perfect they are. I never felt like that and had the luck to be partner of people that too often reminded me of the contrary. Today morning I gave my first lessons of the semester, a marvelous group of young people in expectation in the amphitheater, listening attentively. One of the girls gave a kiss to me, a kind and lovely gesture from a young girl. Now I remember that she was my student one year ago, looking a little bit older now. I tried to look familiar to the students but in truth they all looked strange to me. It is funny but the few moments we may speak to a woman is when you enter in a restaurant and the waitress comes to you with a smile, or when you go to buy a trouser or a shirt, for example. The majority of the time you don’t have access to women since they are inside their “cocoon” or prey of their man. The last time it happened to me to be in touch with a woman a kind of erotic current went back and forth, and since then we exchange funny words when we see each other:
-How have been your last Valentine day?
-I must confess it was funny as never before – I replied with a naughty smile in my face.
You see, she understood the game. The next day I returned and she was not present, only her colleague was there, and I inquired unquiet:
-How is my friend? – I meant the other girl, you see.
-I am fine, thank you.
I noticed the misunderstanding and felt myself uncomfortable, letting the conversation going on, just to see where it was heading.
– I saw your boss yesterday. Does he lives near Choi city?
– Oh, no! He is a wealthy man, rarely is nearby, only in spas or sunny places. He was not like us, you see.
I didn’t “see”, but politely replied:
And, you see, no spark, no nothing, and the woman was beautiful. This somewhat proves that there is secret currents among people and no easy detector to measure the complexity of to be or not to be. Sure, I am not from this place. When I was living in Africa I felt like I was a useful person, that my job was important, that my soul was part of the all, that at the limit without me some people would feel not complete, that I could live below a tree without nothing else besides my cloths. Now, I feel nothing, as I was from Mars. What the hell I am doing here?…